“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”

Robert Holden

Words carry so much weight. This is one reason, I feel, so many of us are opposed to labels to identify people. No one wants to be reduced to a word. I think this is a natural way for us, as humans to categorize, or even make sense of our world, however. I just heard today that 2020 was the year of “grace” and that 2021 is the year of “gratitude”.

If we were to play “word association” games and I were to ask you, what is the Month of February? Some may associate with Black History month, however, the overwhelming answer will be simple “love”. Valentine’s Day takes over for February and most people think of hearts, cupids and relationships.

It is that last part that I think is so critical: relationships. I have met people who only feel whole if they are in a relationship. I have talked to others who are lonely within a relationship. I have listened to far too many who see their relationship failing. One thing most of these people have in common is the that the relationship is with someone else. When people talk about Valentine’s Day, people assume the word love applies to someone else.

I want to both challenge you and give you a gift. I challenge you to have a relationship with you. Take February to fall in love with yourself. If that is too far of a stretch, learn to like yourself and find out who you are. Everyday, do one act of kindness for you. I fixed brussel sprouts and butternut squash with cranberries and walnuts for dinner last night. My husband won’t touch anything in that dish. I loved it and it felt good eating it. That was my act of self love for the day.

The quote from Robert Holden is powerful. What if it is true? What if how you feel about yourself, the relationship, or lack of relationship that you have with yourself is reflected or the foundation for every other relationship you have? Not just the romantic relationships, but think of the friendships or interactions at work?

I am excited by this one label, love. For February it is a good reminder to put ourselves first so that we can “show up” and be present with others.

This is where I get to give you a gift! I created a special calendar. For this month, and you can actually use it every month, if you like, I have an act of self love or kindness for each day. This way if you are stumped with where to start, you can look at the calendar to get a little push!